Spooky Hallowe’en movie suggestions

As the 31st is just around the bend, I thought I’d share with you all my opinion on two horror movies I remember greatly in the past few years. Make a note that just one of these films has been positively embedded to my brain. The other has not.

The following was inspired by a conversation with my good friend Maggie.

SEE: Black Sheep (Jonathan King, 2006)

I’m not entirely sure where to start with this movie and why I enjoyed it. Could it be the boring yet intriguing setting of New Zealand where the movie is filmed? Maybe it’s the stars: the genetically mutated were-sheep? Or could it just be because the poster’s tagline is “GET THE FLOCK OUT OF HERE!”

What I will say is that for a setting such as these shockingly rural fields, King doesn’t hold any punches with this movie. Everything gratuitous happens to the point where you don’t know if it’s scary or hilarious. But I don’t mind that one bit.

Well, except for the bestiality part. But I won’t go into the details. I’ll leave that for your own curiousity.

DO NOT SEE. EVER.: The Nun (Luis de la Madrid, 2005)

Sadly, this is the most professionally classy poster I could find for this film. The film includes the following bits: a rag-tag group of college students from the U.S. in Madrid (including some of the worst New York accents ever), a mysteriously dark past about an all-girls private Catholic school, things that would make even the most corrupted mind go more insane, and the piéce du resistance:

A WATERY GHOST OF A VENGEFUL NUN THAT KILLS HER FORMER STUDENTS.

Now while to some this may sound like the best horror film ever, the one thing that prevents The Nun from being a good movie is the plot. A rarity for me, the plot progression in the movie actually made me mad, particularly the ending. I won’t “spoil” the experience for you, but the development of the story up to the ending is meant to play out as a mystery. Instead, the progression doesn’t just fall short. It finds a cliff, jumps off it, shoots itself in the head halfway, and activates a nuclear charge near a city inhabited by innocent orphans. Unless you want to hurt yourself, don’t see this movie.

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I’ll end this off with an apology for updating so late. But I hope it was worth it this time.